It's my own Fault
by Israfeli'sFire
Summary: New story not really a Hush,Hush fanfic but still having to do with fallen angels


**THIS IS THE FIRST STORY I'VE TRIED **

**its not technically a fanfic but I just wanted to put it out there and get some feedback so feel free to comment**

Crimsonville sawyer.

Chapter 1

_My god? But… I don't have a god or gods or anything… I'm alone. There is nothing here for me. I might as well, right? No one will miss me._

_ No! Non, non! _And then I woke up.

Every freaking night this happens to me. Every freaking night! It started when I was about four. Ever since then I've been able to hear people's thoughts before they die in my dreams. I go through about twenty deaths a night and I'm going mad!

"Ali…? Are you okay? Hurry or you'll be late for school." my sister, Rai, yells from downstairs. She gets worried really easily because our parents died when she was old enough to understand what was happening, but too young for it to be expected. Anyways, her full name is Raina and mine is Alix. Weird, I know but our parents were in love with these strange French names. Plus, we are technically French nobles. It doesn't mean much anymore except for a pretty name and a pretty house. We live in the French countryside on a huge estate that has belonged to our family for hundreds of years. Our Memere is probably the only person left alive who thinks the Deveraux name means anything but a big empty home in the middle of nowhere. That nowhere is called Crimsonville, welcoming I know.

I wait for Rai to leave and sneak out before Memere catches me. Ok, so I'm not going to school today no matter what Rai says, and before you think I'm a terrible person there is a perfectly good explanation. I have to go to the library. See, there. I am a perfectly scholarly person even when I am skipping school. No one likes school anyways, and no one there likes me, though I guess they have their reasons for that. The thing is I don't talk. It's not that I can't I just never seem to have to. Everyone who actually cares about what I would say already knows I don't like to say much.

I'm going to the library because last night I saw someone in my dream, someone who wasn't the man who was dying. He didn't look at all surprised in the presence of death; in fact, he looked almost pleased. The man was also surprisingly well dressed for a death that took place in the slums as far as I could tell. He wore a white well-tailored suit with expensive brand name shoes and a simple crimson tie, and looked like he had stepped out of an Armani advertisement. This guy was gorgeous despite how disturbing his joy was. I decided I needed to know who this man is. The problem is it's kinda hard to find out who a guy is just by a glimpse in a dream and our poor provincial town doesn't have much of a library and there are absolutely no computers. I give up and head to school I may even be on time for second period.

On the way to school I take a detour because I have a few minutes to spare and honestly I just don't feel like going. So I'm driving down the dirt road in my red Mini Cooper and start to blast my music. I guess now would be a good time to mention my strange taste in music. Scratch that, I just have really weird taste in everything. I like every genre of music but mostly metal and alternative rock which doesn't really help when trying to get to know people… It scares most of them off, especially here, and my not talking doesn't really help either. So normally I only blast my music when I'm alone on the road like today. At school I walk into my second period Chemistry class a few minutes late put my tardy pass on the empty desk at the front of the room and find my seat in the corner beside my best friend Andrew. I come to class late often but since we've had a different sub everyday this week I know that the teacher won't care. The room is in absolute chaos so no one notices me slip in. They are all too busy gossiping about the newest small town scandal at prom last week. It's so big even I know about it. Evidently the popsicle heads, as Andy likes to call them, can't wrap their minds around the fact that our school's golden boy isn't all that into our golden girl… or any girls for that matter. Andy hates gossip and as I sit down he is already banging his head against the desk; that is, until the door opens and two very different men walk into the room. I know the first one immediately and am so shocked I let out a small yelp though no one notices because they are all enraptured by the man standing at the front of the room. He is the man from my dream, the dark man who took so much joy in watching a young boy kill himself. Behind him is a guy our age who also gets a little bit of attention from the girls in the room after they get over their attraction to the dark man who seems to be our sub for the day. He looks extremely similar to the dark man, in fact, the only signs that they are not twins is that this boy is younger and walks with no air of confidence and pride, as the other man does, rather as though every step is tinged with a small piece of saddness. The dark man leans on the desk as the younger man finds the only available seat in the room diagonal from me and in front of Andy. He looks around and as we make eye contact gives me a small nervous smile. Once the boy has found his seat the dark man saunters over to the white board and scrolls out his name in beautiful cursive one would think came from centuries ago: Mr. Lumos. He turns to the class and speaks in an easygoing voice with an American accent, "Hello I will be your Chemistry teacher for the rest of the year. That," he points to the boy in front of Andy," is my son, Jared. We just moved into town yesterday from New York. Any questions?" The room bursts with noise while the inquisitive prying young minds of Crimsonville attempt to satiate their thirst for gossip, I mean, knowledge. Mr. Lumos goes about answering questions, however the popsicle heads' leader Genevieve believes she can seduce answers out of poor unsuspecting Jared. Well it's safe to say he is not flying a rainbow flag as he answers her questions with the enthusiasm of a puppy. While she chats him up I have a chance to get a look at the fresh meat that every girl in Crimsonville will want a piece of, although I'm sure he won't mind (he is a guy after all). He is strikingly handsome the same way his father is. He has brown hair, broad shoulders, and is unforgivably tall, but his eyes stand out the most. Jared has one golden brown eye and one ivy green eye. It is striking and alluring all at once. Andy notices my reaction and starts to laugh at me. It shakes me out of my stupid daze and zaps me back into the reality of who I am. I smack Andy for good measure and assure myself that that will never happen again. Class finally calms down as the bell rings and we are off to third period.

I head to my locker and am surprised to see a confused Jared all alone with no help from any pop heads. Apparently he has the locker next to mine and is in need of assistance. I am about to say something but hold myself back. It isn't a rule of mine or anything but I NEVER feel the need to speak and all of the sudden in the presence of this new kid I want to whip out a witty comment and make him laugh. A wave of anger at this boy for changing that in me washes through me and I am completely shocked. I dismiss it and walk to my locker, get my things, and leave.

In third period Andy gets the feeling something is up and asks if I'm ok. I try to arrange my face into a convincing smile and nod at him. He seems satisfied so we turn to our geometry books and the rest of the class period is silent. The rest of the school day passes by. The halls buzz with the news of the newcomers but other wise everything is normal.

Chapter 2

They are at my house! Why in the hell are the newbies at MY house?! Rai is just letting them in as I pull up. I catch a glimpse of a sleek black corvette in the driveway while I storm through the elaborately carved wooden door. I end up in the kitchen where everyone is gathered; even Memere for whom it is difficult to stand for long periods of time gazes from the corner looking regal and commanding attention. Rai has positioned herself in between the Lumoses while I stand in the doorway looking utterly confused.

They seem to have been discussing something important but apparently I'm not aloud to know because once Memere spots me she clears her throat and the heated discussion between Rai and the boys ends suddenly and they all turn to stare. "Ali," Memere inquires," have you met Jared and Elijah?" I guess that is Mr. Lumos's name so I nod my head slowly trying to make sense of the situation. She suggests that Jared and I go upstairs while the adults talk. This is absolutely ridiculous because I am sixteen not twelve and Jared seems to hate the idea just as much. But by the look I'm getting from Rai it wasn't really a suggestion… it was an order. I give them both the death glare the sulkily drag myself upstairs. Jared follows without any objections as well.

We end up in my room because I still need to put my school stuff down and I don't feel like being a very hospitable hostess at the moment. As Jared passes the threshold of my humble abode he stops in his tracks with a look of awe on his face. That is definitely NOT the kind of reaction my room usually elicits from my peers. The walls are covered in band posters and my own personal artwork that my Memere likes to call graffiti. One day when I was having a fight with her and Rai I switched my light bulbs out for black lights and covered the little space left on my walls with bright neon paint that looked AMAZING to me but as strange and vile to their eyes as my music is to their ears. I never took the black lights out so when I flick the lights on my walls dance and my room gains the atmosphere of a rave. I'm at home here. Jared is still standing in my doorway with an open mouth perhaps struggling for words. I take this time to truly appreciate him.

His beautiful heterochromatic eyes, after taking in the horror that is my room and responding with awe, finally fall on me. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. We stare at each other until I realize how ridiculous this is and break away. This is the gazillionth time he has made me feel ridiculous and I haven't even known him for a day! "Ummm hi," he says awkwardly. I'm terrible with these types of situations so I stand there mortified and I am almost positive that my face is screwed up in some ugly twisted way to show my discomfort. He can obviously tell I'm not used to this sort of thing and I think Rai might have tipped him off about my whole not talking thing. Jared took a deep breath crossed the threshold of my room and calmly sat on my bed. I sat next to him and started my homework while he played with something on his phone. We sat like this until I finished my homework, which was about two hours because I am absolutely horrible at math. When I finished, Jared said that he was hungry, and I was getting curious about the conversation going on downstairs. An unspoken agreement was made that we would sneak downstairs grab a snack and hopefully catch a few key points of the "adult conversation."

I am an absolute pro at sneaking around in my house. When I was a child I went on dangerous and captivating adventures in these halls that no one else was privy to except for one of my childhood friends that I now recall; however, his name escapes me as Jared and I tiptoe down the quieter set of stairs. The way my home is set up there are three ways to get to the kitchen. I prefer the back stairs, which are the stealthiest way, the main entrance, and the service entrance, which hasn't been used since I was five. We hover just outside the door to the kitchen straining our ears against the cold elaborately decorated wood. I can faintly hear the heated argument between Rai and Memere. Snippets of sentences sneak past the cracks in the dense barrier and all I hear is," She's too… Doesn't need to know… only hurt her… strong enough… more power than any of us!" With that Rai burst the door open causing Jared and I to scramble. When her eyes find mine she doesn't look angry or demanding like she normally does when she catches me sneaking around. She looks sad, but in her eyes I see more than sadness there is a small glimmer of something that dangerously resembles hope and I can't take it because no one will tell me what they want and are hoping for.

She runs away and Jared and I peer into the room to try and understand what happened. Memere hasn't moved from her spot where she was earlier but her face was ragged and she suddenly looks older and more tired than I had ever seen her before. When I glance at Mr. Lumos I almost yell at him. He has a smug smile on his face and is perched on top of the island in the middle of the kitchen swinging his legs back and forth like a small child who cant sit still. Jared suddenly looks nothing like the pleased man in all white, his face is kinder and more genuine and I finally believe I can befriend him.


End file.
